BERLIOZ Hector (1803 - 1869) Lot n° 14

L.A.S. "H. Berlioz", 19 December [1832], to Franz LISZT in Paris; 3 pages small in-4, address (small repair). Beautiful letter telling of his passion for Harriet Smithson (whom he would marry on October 3, 1833). "My dear Litz You gave me a great proof of friendship yesterday morning; but it would have been better for me if it had been on another subject. Since I left you I have had a scene with H. S. [Harriet SMITHSON] which, without you, would have drowned me in unmixed happiness, in an intoxication that no language can express; this joy, this rage of love, has been poisoned, but I drink it all together, even if I die at the end. Everything about her delights and exhilarates me; the frank admission of her feelings has dismayed me and driven me almost mad. I ask you in the name of our friendship not to speak again to me or to others about what you have told me. We are not yet married. I will never leave her. She is my star. She understood me. If it is a mistake, it must be left to me; it will embellish the last times of my life, which I hope will not be long. One cannot resist for long to such emotions. I beg you to put an end to any discussion of this with Dumas and Hiller when he is here; even say the opposite of what you are thinking, I beg you on my knees. Oh, I love her, I love her, and I am loved by her, she told me so yesterday in front of her sister; yes, she loves me, but I will only talk about it to you, I want to bury my happiness if possible. Thus silence. There is nothing today that can separate us. She knew about Miss Moke's adventure, I had to tell her everything; it was her, H. S. that I missed; my existence is complete, here is the heart that was to answer mine. Do not pity what I am writing to you; one must respect love and enthusiasm when they are as deep and as intimate as I feel"... General Correspondence, t. II, n° 303.